Älä anna muiden määritellä omaa arvoasi

“Living a meaningful life is not a popularity contest. If what you’re saying is always getting applause, you’re probably not yet doing the right stuff."
                                                                                   - Marianne Williamsson

16-vuotiaana oman arvon tunne määrittyy vahvasti muiden sanomisten kautta. Ajattelet, että mitä puet, mitä sanot ja miltä näytät määrittää sen kuka olet. Haluat olla suosittu ja osa porukkaa. Haluat olla mukana kaikessa ja osa kokonaisuutta.

Jossain vaiheessa ymmärrät, että elämä on juuri se mitä sinä olet eikä se miten muut sinut määrittelee. Ymmärrät myös, että muiden käytös sinua kohtaan on yleensä heidän oma suhde omaan elämäänsä, omat ilot ja omat surut peilaten.

"If you are willing to look at another person's behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of their relationship with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time cease to react at all." -- Yogi Bhajan

Yoga Girlinä tunnettu Rachel Brathen sanoo sen niin hyvin Instagramissa. Tässä suoraan Brathenin sanoja lainaten:

"One of the most important realizations we can ever have in life is understanding our own self worth. If you constantly define your value as a person after what people tell you, you are destined to live a life of unhappiness. 

Fact is, you cannot control other people's actions. If someone tells you you are horrible today; you are ugly, you are fat, you are stupid... Does this automatically make you less worthy? And when someone tells you you are beautiful, amazing, intelligent - does this make you a better person? Of course not. 

If you value yourself after how people praise or judge you, if your self worth is dependent on other people constantly confirming your existence in the world, you are going to be absolutely miserable! You will spend all of your time and energy trying to fit into a mold that society has deemed acceptable - but one that is far too narrow, too shallow, too limited for you to ever adapt to. Placing your value in the hands of people that don't know their own is a dangerous game. 

Take it from me. I have 1.7 million of you following me here and opinions change with the direction of the wind. Sometimes you raise me to the heavens; I am the most amazing person in the entire world! And sometimes you bring me down; I am dumb, ugly, fat. Do you think I let either of these opinions dictate how I feel about myself? I am who I am. It is MY responsibility to believe in myself, to know my worth, to trust that I am strong and capable and beautiful and intelligent and everything that makes me me. This is my life, my body, my experience. And guess what? I'm rocking it. I don't need anyone to tell me I'm great just as much as I don't need anyone to tell me I'm not. I know my worth. I am a divine being of human light doing the best I can in this world. Just like you. 

Work on loving yourself. Unconditionally. 

No one else is going to do it for you."

Ja tässä vielä monesti minua inspiroineen Madonnan lausuma:

"What else is there for me to conquer? Hopefully my ego. How will I know when I've succeeded? When I stop caring what anyone thinks."

- Madonna, Q-Magazine, May 2008